I've never heard silence quite this loud

Kesuma was okay. Okay okay okay la kot. Biasa biasa je. Part yang awesome bila dapat lepak lepak dengan member la :) yang tak awesome, mood serious spoiled gila kot. Masalah dengan akak and abang faci, dengan youknowho tu lagi.

First day lagi dah menimbun masalah. Youknowho tu, haihh. Taktau nak cakap apa, so korang korang yang pakwe korang tu pandai cari korang, bersyukur la ye? :) yang takda pakwe tu, lagi bagus, kepala tak payah nak bodoh pi fikir pasal pakwe kan? Untung untung. Mula mula a bit down bila pakwe aku buat taktau je dengan aku, but bila Wawan and Naim masuk group kitorang, dapat la sikit sinar kebahagiaan. Lari lari, gelak gelak, pastu makan. Haaa, yang part pindah pindah tempat tidur paling tak boleh blah, dah la tak mandi, penat dengan activity yang pack, pastu fikir tidur nak kena bangun awal lagi, tiba tiba kena tukar bilik. Pehhh time tu memang dah tak boleh control ah emosi. Haihhh. Jangan lah penting kan diri sendiri lain kali ye, korang kena la fikir perasaan orang lain. Lepas tuuuu, tidur. Krohh krohh tak sampai dua jam.

Second day, macam biasala, masalah masalah dengan youknowho, dengan ahli group yang hippokrit tak bertempat. Haihhh. Nasib baik ada baby Ayu dengan baby Sofi teman aku, kalau tak dah boleh terjun bangunan bunuh diri dah. Selera kelaut, youknowho punya pasal, aku pun bodoh. Haihhh lagi. Buat penat je otak fikir pasal dia, dia? ada? takdaaaaaa. Haha malam, gegolek, sembang dengan Sofi, then tidur.

Last day, tak sabar nak balik. Ada masa rehat terus packing barang. Mana tak, rasa macam miserable gila pi camping kali ni. Mood aku besepah. Kesian member kena melayan aku. Sorry eh. Then bla bla blaa blaa blaaa, BALIK, MANDI, TIDURRRRRRR. Yeahhh (!)

Youknowho,

Haiihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh panjang panjang. I don't what to say. Semuanya saya dah cerita dekat Sofi, Ayu. They knows better. Kalau rajin, pi la tanya diorang. Yes, it's not totally your fault, but haihhhhhhhh. It's hurts la sayang, and it's killing me inside, and I feel nothing, empty, and I think you should try harder to know me better and understand me okay? Ive tried my best to know you to understand you, and taknak bagi awak terasa or tension or anything. But in the end, I'm the one who's hurt the most.

I used to know my place was a spot next to you

Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat

Cause lately i don't even now what page you're on

Oh, a simple complication

Miscommunications lead to fallout

So many things that I wish you knew

So many walls up I can't breakthrough

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room

And we're not speaking

And I'm dying to know

Is it killing you like it's killing me

I don't know what to say

Since a twist of fate when it all broke down

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

How we'd end up this way

See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy

And you're doing your best to avoid me

Oh I'm scared to see the ending

Why are we pretending this is nothing

I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how

I've never heard silence quite this loud

This is looking like a contest

Of who can act like they careless,

But I like it better when you were on my side

The battles in your hands now

But I would lay my armor's down

If you'd say you;d rather love than fight

So many things that you wish I knew,

But the story of us might be ending soon

(For full song video, click on this post title)

I don't want the story of us to be ending soon, just so you know. It's just that I find this song connected to us in so many ways. And saya tak salahkan awak seratus peratus, saya pun salah, jealous tak beretempat. But for me la kan, these three days is the most miserable days I've been through. H A I H H

But when I look on the bright side, banyak juga benda menarik yang aku dapat during this camp, dapat spent masa dengan kawan tersayang, dapat pengalaman, main futsal sama sama, dapat gain knowledge, dapat tidur sama sama, dapat berborak dengan orang yang aku tak pernah bercakap selama ni, it was fun though. Total awesome :D

Moral of the story,

• Don't be so selfish okay. Think about others too
• If you really love someone, prove it. Be a man
• Love your friends, they were always there for you
• Don't be a hypocrite, it's lame, loser
• Jealousy is a terribly, terrible thing. Stop it already
• Live you life to the max
• Think positively, try to look on the bright side whenever something bad happened
• Think about others feelings, don't be so stupid
• Look at yourself first before you tell people to fix themselves

Till then, Take care,

Love, me :)